Tuesday, April 18, 2017

How To Use Your Hollywood Fashion Clip



Look what we just unearthed,

SO FUN! 

Absolutely love these illustrations so we thought we would share the brochure with you....
...maybe you own one of these and have no idea what to do with it...now you can wear it!


It is a tri-fold brochure, though there is no date, the mod fashion and hair-dos dates it from the late 60's - early 70's.

Let's dive in! Here is the first section ~

"for an elegant head style"
"Follow the exact instructions for a Glamour bow using a 36" square scarf."


This is so pretty! She looks like a flower with this style!
And, everyone needs an elegant head style...

"utilize your smoke ring scarf"
"For an Ascot - Pull Just The Tip of the smoke ring scarf through the ring and close the clip. Form the style by spreading the tip of the Scarf."
"For a Collar -  Pull All The Material through the ring. Bring the clip to either side and close it on your neckline."

I don't know what a "smoke ring scarf" is, but this woman's hair faintly resembles my Grandmother's.



"western style"
"Fold your square scarf into a triangle and push the ends down through the ring. Bring the clip to either side of your neckline and secure it in position with the anchor pin."

While I love her pixie hairstyle, this scarf style looks like she is going to fly away. 
And, by the way, why do some of these women not have noses?

"add a flattering collar to your wardrobe"
"Use any size scarf. Push the open edges under your neckline and fold the scarf over to form a collar. Clip to your neckline or use the anchor pin in any location"

This sounds like a lot of work.

Next, the pamphlet opens up fully to display the directions (and more women without noses).




Close up of upper left side 


And the bottom, Your "basic ascot" 

All of these women look like they are coming to your home to sell Avon or Tupperware, don't they?

And now, for step by step, illustrated instructions:

"How you can create lovely scarf styles
Easy to follow illustrations for a Dickey bow with a long scarf folded in half or a square scarf folded into a triangle"

Hmmm... the finished woman on the right looks like she's about ready to serve you a cocktail in coach.

"make a Glamour bow with your Hollywood scarf clip and a square scarf folded in half"
I actually like figure 2 better than figure 3....figure 2 looks like a cute little Peter Pan collar...figure 3 looks like her head is wrapped like a present.

Finally, the back page ~



"Instead of buying expensive scarf hats, you can now create your own."

What it should say is "Go from Playboy bunny to Rhoda in 2 easy steps!"

And now, for the Ron Popeil/Billy Mays moment...

"But wait!!!"

"With a chain your Hollywood Fashion Clip becomes a Pendant, a Bracelet, or a Chatelaine."
"You'll find your Hollywood Fashion Clip to be the most versatile accessory in your wardrobe."

No doubt, no doubt.

*****

Now, while we do not currently have one of these in the shop, we do have LOADS of scarves!

Here are some in our Etsy shop along with some pretty Spring hankies and pins to use on them.

There are lots more in the Leominster boutique, stop by and see us :)

Scarves are such an easy and inexpensive way to add a pop of color to your wardrobe! 
We hope this has inspired you to wear them in different ways.









Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Don't Take Me Home

We've all had those days....dreading going home to maybe a tough conversation or burned dinner....but, usually, most of us can't wait to get home. 

Not poor Augustus J. McCann.

He hates his life, he hates his wife, and, probably, the creepy, giant mouthed baby sitting on his lap.



Augustus would much rather sit around a boozy dinner with his friends, go to jail, or even go to war than sit at home with these two one more night.


This story is all courtesy of an antique, 1908, sheet music piece which we listed this weekend. 

We though the cover was crazy enough in itself. Then, Marguerite suggested we check the lyrics. Great idea! What followed was a quite hilarious look at one Mr. McCann's poor, henpecked life.



DON'T TAKE ME HOME

A comic novelty song by Vincent Bryan & Harry Von Tilzer

Augustus J. McCann ,
Is a hen pecked married man,
He's been a fighting with his wife since his married life began.
One night at half past three.
while out upon a spree,
A Motor knocked him down and out and it nearly broke his knee;
The Chauffer raised Mac's head,
He said "This man is dead",
But when he said "we'll take him home"
McCann jumped up and said,

DON'T TAKE ME HOME,
Please don't take me home,
Tell me, what did I do to you?
Oo oo oo oo  have a little pity,
I'm a poor married man,
in search of peace I roam,
I'm with you in anything you do but don't take me home, home.

McCann made such a fight
That they locked him up that night
Next day he got six months in jail
And he said now I'm in right
In jail there was no strife
He never saw his wife
He said the he'd be happy if he could stay there all his life
But after half a year 
They said "get out of here"
The jailer said we'll take you home
But Mac yelled out in fear.

DON'T TAKE ME HOME,
Please don't take me home,
Tell me, what did I do to you?
Oo oo oo oo  have a little pity,
I'm a poor married man,
in search of peace I roam,
I'm with you in anything you do but don't take me home, home.

McCann became so sore
That he ran off to the war
That war was like Vacation Time after all he'd fought before
He always led the fray
But he was shot one day
His comrades saw he couldn't walk and they carried him away
Up on his cot he fell
The doctor said "well well"
We'll send this man's home to his wife
Then Mac began to yell.

DON'T TAKE ME HOME,
Please don't take me home,
Tell me, what did I do to you?
Oo oo oo oo  have a little pity,
I'm a poor married man,
in search of peace I roam,
I'm with you in anything you do but don't take me home, home.

*************************

Well, after putting our own spin to it, we just laughed and laughed!
Then we found the actual antique recording on YouTube and you can hear it here:


If you find this funny like we do, or live this life, and must have an original copy, you can find that here at Offbeat Avenue: